If it's a cloudy day, do we have a reason to be sad?
If trouble encircles us, should we tremble in fright and fear?
If the road is difficult, is it best if we just stop walking ahead?
All I know is near the end, it's always the most difficult part.
We made it through almost everything, now it seems everything just starts to come after us one by one. I'm tired, my confidence gets wounded, and you over there, must be exhausted as well. I worry about collapsing under the pressure, and you are scared of the other side of yourself. My words get harsher day after day, and your fear adds to itself bit by bit. In front of this final assault, are we going to succumb to the attack and surrender?
But we made it this far. I thought we couldn't keep it up for even a month, but now it's more than 3 months. All this time, we had times of hardship, despair, loss of faith and tears of sadness. But we still stand on our feet today. We survived every challenge.
Were we like this in the beginning? I don't think so. The only reason is that we got stronger as we went along. It wasn't easy at all, but we had faith in each other that we could get past every round. And we did just that.
My heart is still heavy, and I admit this is going to be a long battle. Nonetheless, as I raise up my head, I feel that the morning sunlight isn't too far away. If you're up to it, then take my hand and come with me. Lord will lead us, and nothing shall be in our way. Cast away your doubts, because even if the world turns it back on you, I shall remain by your side.
There is no such thing as a complete fake smile, even if it's made of 99% pretense and 1% true happiness. And it is that 1% honesty that I cherish. Even if it's getting worse, I'll do what I can to make it better. One last thing, stop calling yourself ugly, because you're always a beauty to behold in my eyes.
Trust me a little more, and tomorrow it shall be sunny.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Friday, April 20, 2007
I just realized that I didn't get a coffee for over a month now. How amazing am I at saving money.
So did I learn to be thrify all of a sudden, or is it that my life has been severely out of order? You tell me.
I had planned something totally different from this. Well, my plan never works, and it's alright if it doesn't. But until this moment I got hit by a headache, my reasoning has been absent in my brain. Yes I didn't take control of my own life and just let it drift, and yes it's going down a waterfall and gonna hit the bottom soon. This isn't the way it is supposed to be.
Honestly I'm not smart enough to plan ahead too much, so knowing what to do tomorrow is just fine. I don't anticipate what comes after a month or a year; i'll figure it out the day before. If I'm not doing what I should do now, tomorrow isn't gonna get any better.
And I'll live my life the way I want now, even if it means going in a different direction. God is still with me, and he told me not to worry: I don't have the responsibility to plan out the entire future; all I can do is not to waste today.
I don't know if it means to make a U-turn, but if it is, let it be done, regardless of the consequence. Maybe this is something foolish to do, but I'm tired of being a fool all along. I know something in my life is important, but that doesn't mean I should ignore everything else important altogether.
The snowman already melted yesterday. Strangely, when I finally got over this in my mind, the sky cleared up and it's a nice day in front of me. Guess I'll just go down to the slope and enjoy a warm, bright afternoon. On this day, I will set aside all other business, and breath in some fresh, crispy air, under this blue blue sky.
So did I learn to be thrify all of a sudden, or is it that my life has been severely out of order? You tell me.
I had planned something totally different from this. Well, my plan never works, and it's alright if it doesn't. But until this moment I got hit by a headache, my reasoning has been absent in my brain. Yes I didn't take control of my own life and just let it drift, and yes it's going down a waterfall and gonna hit the bottom soon. This isn't the way it is supposed to be.
Honestly I'm not smart enough to plan ahead too much, so knowing what to do tomorrow is just fine. I don't anticipate what comes after a month or a year; i'll figure it out the day before. If I'm not doing what I should do now, tomorrow isn't gonna get any better.
And I'll live my life the way I want now, even if it means going in a different direction. God is still with me, and he told me not to worry: I don't have the responsibility to plan out the entire future; all I can do is not to waste today.
I don't know if it means to make a U-turn, but if it is, let it be done, regardless of the consequence. Maybe this is something foolish to do, but I'm tired of being a fool all along. I know something in my life is important, but that doesn't mean I should ignore everything else important altogether.
The snowman already melted yesterday. Strangely, when I finally got over this in my mind, the sky cleared up and it's a nice day in front of me. Guess I'll just go down to the slope and enjoy a warm, bright afternoon. On this day, I will set aside all other business, and breath in some fresh, crispy air, under this blue blue sky.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Between this breath and my next, I gotta write something down so that this place isn't left dead for too long.
Life can be busy, but as long as it's filled with smiles, nothing is too hard to deal with. I have come across a lot of things, emotions that I do or do not understand, but whenever I see a smile or hear a laughter, all the confusion suddenly clears up, and I'm energized once more.
Let there be a prayer in every moonless night,
a beautiful wish before every battle we fight.
A cheerful song after every tear we shed,
and a sweet greeting in every morning's light.
May His grace be with you, till eternity.
Life can be busy, but as long as it's filled with smiles, nothing is too hard to deal with. I have come across a lot of things, emotions that I do or do not understand, but whenever I see a smile or hear a laughter, all the confusion suddenly clears up, and I'm energized once more.
Let there be a prayer in every moonless night,
a beautiful wish before every battle we fight.
A cheerful song after every tear we shed,
and a sweet greeting in every morning's light.
May His grace be with you, till eternity.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Oh, before going to bed, I guess I have one more thing to do.
I wonder how long this rain is going to last.
When clouds climb up onto the sky, the sun finally gets a chance to hide in the back, leaving the world without much light. Then the world becomes grey, as if it is covered in a layer of dust. Not long after, the rain comes down from heaven.
It's rain in spring time. When I was still in elementary school, I read about the rain in southern China. Every April and May, the sky will be shedding tears everyday, sometimes a few days in a row. As the wetness doesn't go away, clothes and building become moldy, and it isn't until July when the sun clears up the clouds, giving back its warmth and brightness. But June is already summer. In this season, sunlight is too enthusiastic to be likeable, so rather than embracing it, most people stay inside to avoid any damage in a hot day. As it looks, maybe the spring will not end with a beautiful day this year.
You sit beside the window, staring outside at this blurry world. The raindrops slide across the glass, leaving a trail behind, bizarrely artistic. Throught the scattered water on the window, I can vaguely see the view outside, but I don't know where to look at. Everything is in a mist, everything is blurred, everything is a mystery. From the silhoutte, I can tell there are a couple of buildings and a garden. That's also as much as I can say. After all, a rainy day isn't meant for people to tour around the city. Stay inside.
I remember when I was small and my mom was mopping the floor, she would always tell me to get onto the bed and wait until she finishes. I guess we are the same here. The world has become too dirty to the point of abominable, and Lord can't stand it any longer. So he sends down a message to tell us all to go home, then he himself starts cleansing the world. Lord loves people, so he makes earth more inhabitable for us by doing some cleaning regularly.
The bench, the table, and the shade, all become an unnecessary utility. Still, the shade is trying to cover for the table and the seats, even though the rain comes from all directions to wet everything. Shade knows he can't do anything by himself, and there's no nother cover he can find. Then he chooses to just stand there, even in defeat, just to do what he can for whatever below him. He doesn't look too well himself, but everyone knows he won't back away until the rain is driven away by the sun again.
Still, all of them look a bit lonely. Spring rain is cold, because in the sky they are still snowflakes; only the temperature diffenrence near ground turns them into little waterdrops. Showered in this cold, I feel a little sorry for the empty seats. I'm sure last night they dreamed of a sunny day today, and people happily sit around them and the coffee smell permeates the air. They weren't expecting this rain, and little did they know, once the sky starts crying, it takes days to calm her down. Even the flowers lower their heads, not letting anyone see their messy face. Most people think of the blossom of flowers in spring, but to some, it is nothing but a prelude to the grand finale in autumn. We have no control over the alteration of seasons, just like we can't totally govern our own lives. Be it rainy or dry season, spring or summer, one day this will reach the end, and our lives will be extinguished. It's only natural.
The same goes for the rain. It's just when we look forward to the end of it, it doesn't obey our command. When they're not paying attention though, it slips behind, and leaves us wondering when it is gone. An unhappy day might not provide you with the most pleasure, but this is part of life, so wait patiently for its end. Besides, when the clouds get too dark, you can always reach out to here, because this is where I am. I hope summer comes early this year, but if it doesn't, I'll just bring home the sunshine, and the delight you are always longing for.
I wonder how long this rain is going to last.
When clouds climb up onto the sky, the sun finally gets a chance to hide in the back, leaving the world without much light. Then the world becomes grey, as if it is covered in a layer of dust. Not long after, the rain comes down from heaven.
It's rain in spring time. When I was still in elementary school, I read about the rain in southern China. Every April and May, the sky will be shedding tears everyday, sometimes a few days in a row. As the wetness doesn't go away, clothes and building become moldy, and it isn't until July when the sun clears up the clouds, giving back its warmth and brightness. But June is already summer. In this season, sunlight is too enthusiastic to be likeable, so rather than embracing it, most people stay inside to avoid any damage in a hot day. As it looks, maybe the spring will not end with a beautiful day this year.
You sit beside the window, staring outside at this blurry world. The raindrops slide across the glass, leaving a trail behind, bizarrely artistic. Throught the scattered water on the window, I can vaguely see the view outside, but I don't know where to look at. Everything is in a mist, everything is blurred, everything is a mystery. From the silhoutte, I can tell there are a couple of buildings and a garden. That's also as much as I can say. After all, a rainy day isn't meant for people to tour around the city. Stay inside.
I remember when I was small and my mom was mopping the floor, she would always tell me to get onto the bed and wait until she finishes. I guess we are the same here. The world has become too dirty to the point of abominable, and Lord can't stand it any longer. So he sends down a message to tell us all to go home, then he himself starts cleansing the world. Lord loves people, so he makes earth more inhabitable for us by doing some cleaning regularly.
The bench, the table, and the shade, all become an unnecessary utility. Still, the shade is trying to cover for the table and the seats, even though the rain comes from all directions to wet everything. Shade knows he can't do anything by himself, and there's no nother cover he can find. Then he chooses to just stand there, even in defeat, just to do what he can for whatever below him. He doesn't look too well himself, but everyone knows he won't back away until the rain is driven away by the sun again.
Still, all of them look a bit lonely. Spring rain is cold, because in the sky they are still snowflakes; only the temperature diffenrence near ground turns them into little waterdrops. Showered in this cold, I feel a little sorry for the empty seats. I'm sure last night they dreamed of a sunny day today, and people happily sit around them and the coffee smell permeates the air. They weren't expecting this rain, and little did they know, once the sky starts crying, it takes days to calm her down. Even the flowers lower their heads, not letting anyone see their messy face. Most people think of the blossom of flowers in spring, but to some, it is nothing but a prelude to the grand finale in autumn. We have no control over the alteration of seasons, just like we can't totally govern our own lives. Be it rainy or dry season, spring or summer, one day this will reach the end, and our lives will be extinguished. It's only natural.
The same goes for the rain. It's just when we look forward to the end of it, it doesn't obey our command. When they're not paying attention though, it slips behind, and leaves us wondering when it is gone. An unhappy day might not provide you with the most pleasure, but this is part of life, so wait patiently for its end. Besides, when the clouds get too dark, you can always reach out to here, because this is where I am. I hope summer comes early this year, but if it doesn't, I'll just bring home the sunshine, and the delight you are always longing for.
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