In the only 10 minutes I have, I'll be as brief as possible.
In this night prior to the new year, I wish you all the best.
In the deepest chamber of my heart, I open myself up to the words of my Lord.
In every moment from now on, I will pray for your joy till the end.

Happy new year.

Ben Stiller apparently enjoys his night stay at the museum. And also quite apparently, I don't find my time past dinner very exciting.
That's why I need a change, why I have to get out of this city and leave everything behind. Because I'm not good at adapting to this anymore, because I hate myself wasting my limited time on unlimited useless thoughts and things, because I have no other choice.
I was playing games on my computer, but all of them have lost their attraction to me. I was watching TV, but the liveliness from a electrical box makes me feel like I'm a dead man walking. I was thinking about you, and albeit the sporadical spurt of happiness, more often I get besieged by worries, insecurity, and, worst of all, a sense of powerlessness.
You know I like being funny, but this is nothing to laugh about. I need a different format of life. I need to be busy from dawn to dusk, but I don't want to be busy watching the self-repeating news or playing the inane video games. I need to make plans, but I don't want to plan something I have no way of completing. I need to get a deep breath, but I don't want to inhale any more of this smelly air. I need movies in my life, but instead of watching it, I want to play a role and change the course of the story.
I can't deny the fact that I'm running away, escaping this whole reality of this city and retreating to my worthless ivory tower. But watch me, for I'll come back, and bring the most beautiful flower to honour no one but you, my greatest Lord, and my sweetest angel.

I waited for the clock to point at midnight position, then started to write things down.
Because I promised I wouldn't write more than 1 piece everyday, and I take it seriously upon myself.
Once you said a follower of God shouldn't be partying all night. I doubted its validity, but was glad that I didn't do anything outrageous tonight. If it weren't for this stroke of luck, I would be stuck at that girl's place playing some meaningless game, spending my night in a peaceful, yet totally regrettable way. Instead, I could get some sleep, and think of you again.
But really there's nothing I should think of. You're with God, as you always have been; and under his wings, you should be comfortable and at ease. Still, in God's name I pray for you, hoping to add more to the joy in your life, even if just a little bit.
There seems to be more gushing out of my mind, but I will leave it for now, as tomorrow is a brand new day. I will try not to waste a moment, because I need to grow up as soon as possible, to match your expectation. Let's just hope it will not take too long.
To you in the journey far away, God speed.

New friends vs. old friends, new friends win.
I'm not saying old friends are not as important as before; it's just when new ones come, I will unconsciously give them a higher priority. You can call me forgetful or cold-hearted, but I'll just be fine with that. This is not something I'm empowered to control.
I guess it is similar to memory, because the recollection of the past often gets replaced by the events at present. If we are stuck with some particular occurence in some time long ago, then how can we move on with life and make decision for today? Troubles never cease to exist in reality, and to deal with that, we have to put off the past, no matter how glorious it may be. But it is helplessly sad that once we get a break in our lives, we might forget where we store all the fond memories from before, and they are lost in the tunnel of flowing time, drifting down the river of history forever.
That's why I am afraid of leaving, for I know if I travel long enough, one day I will be unable to recall your figure, you face, and even your name. All that will be left to me, is just your seemingly nostalgiac silhoutte. I may want to reach out, but I will stop as I'm unwilling to be mistaken. I know my journey will last quite a while, and so I don't want to make any empty promises. I just want you to know, if you can let me hear your voice or see your smile once in a while, then I'll be much more comforted, and this faith won't die out easily.
Give me a reason to come back, because that's all it takes to keep you dear to my heart.

I bring out a pop out from the fridge, take a sip, and put it back.
Unfinished business.
A while ago, don't remember how long, I came to the realization that I had started something I couldn't quite finish, without even knowing it. I'm not someone who can just leave things alone, though, and it's been tormenting me for quite some time now. Maybe I'm dim-witted, but I cannot excuse myself for not trying what I can. I can leave everything to my Lord, yet I need to accomplish what he asks me to do.
So before my thought drifts away once again, I decide to cut it off right at this moment. There's something I want to remind myself, but I lost it when I was translating my life today onto this blank space. Remember when you project things to a lower dimension, you will lose the original look of them? My life has four dimensions, but a blog has only two. So, unwillingly, I can't carry all the treasures aboard, and the rest I just have to leave them somewhere in my memory.
But I still haven't lost the most precious ones, and I'm grateful of that. You know I'm tired of mentioning the same thing over and over, so I'll just be quiet, and appreciate this golden silence tonight. It's God's blessing you came back safe, and may his guidance always lead you and me. Buenas noches.

On this quiet Christmas eve, I'm left alone once again.
Remember what I said before? When I'm all by myself, I just can't help thinking about you.
I know I'm still too young and naive, and I admit I have no idea where to go next, but, I guess there's no penalty in just thinking. And it's just interesting to self-reflect: now I look at you with a calm heart, I just can't find any reason to keep myself up with you. I mean, you and I are just too incompatible with each other, yet there's still something unclear, something I can't quite grasp within myself. I don't know what will happen next, but even if this whole drama comes to a mediocre ending, if I am to reason with myself, I don't have any cause to feel sad. Maybe it's you're just as ordinary as everyone else, and I like that plain side of you.
It's true I sometimes can get lost in meditating about strange ideas, but that's just the other half of my personality. And you can't blame a Gemini for doing this; it's something we're born with. But when the situation grants it, I can get as pragmatic as a person can ever do. That's why I chose not to stay behind, but go on with my life. I know staying with you might actually increase our time together, but I'll never be able to fully grow up like that. And I choose to mature. I don't know if I can make it in time back to you, and I really don't care, for this is the path I decide to take, and even you can't have a say to this. I will still treat you as a friend, though, so rest assured, because I trust you'll do just as fine on your own, much as I always do.
I feel regretted that I haven't been able to come up with something pleasing to your ears, and you know I'm always clumsy with words, especially in a moment like this. But there's just something, and I think you already know it, yet I'll say it again: have fun in every day of your life, and until we meet again, let us lock this up, and get on with this world.
I see Lord's light shining up in the sky, and may his warmth embrace you and me. On this peaceful night, I deliver this wish to you on your journey: may His love be with you, no matter where you are. Merry Christmas.

All the time left for me, is just a little bit more than 3 weeks.
Calls have been made, emails have been written, and everything else has been confirmed. The operation has been a success, days before the absolute deadline.
When I make a decision, I try not to regret it. Today, someone questioned my booking of ticket, and it annoyed me quite a bit. As soon as my plan comes into effect, there's no stopping it. It's like a wheel rolling down the slope; if it's destined to reach down the bottom, why would someone waste his time doing something so thoughtless? Of course he can make suggestions beforehand, or criticize me after the plan has failed, but doing it right now would just take courage out of me. Don't say whatever you wish just because you're the elder, a well-thought plan by a youth isn't necessarily inferior to a senior's whim-of-mind comment. If you try to laugh it off, then we shall wait and see what will happen.
All that aside, today was, at best, uneventful. And when things get peaceful, I will helplessly think of you again. I once thought separation by time and space would be hard to tolerate, like how I couldn't stand it if I hadn't seen you for a day, and you were miles away from me. Looking ahead, I have to give a bitter laugh at my naivety: this time, we'll be apart by thousands of miles, and it's going to last months before I ever get to see your face again. Talk about relative. I just hope before time's passing wears out my memory again, you appear in front of me once more.
I'm not used to being this direct with myself, and I don't know whether to feel good or bad when I do this once in a while. I admit the peace of mind has gone out of me right now, and while I'm waiting for it to come back to me, please bear with all my imprudence and careless words. For if I hold only one truth within, that is I will always, with all that I have, care about you.

This time, I think I really caught a cold.
I don't usually get sick; actually, this might be the first time this year that I get this much physically uncomfortable. When people around me begin to not feel well, I always tell them it's okay and just hold on a bit longer, and it's going to be fine in the end. For myself, I almost forgot how it felt to be sick.
I don't want to, and I don't have the time to trace back my life for the past days to figure out what went wrong. I just know it happened, and whatever the reason was, the cold has rendered me useless. Honestly, it feels utterly pathetic to write this diary at this moment, but I guess I'm just doing it to remind myself again in the future. Moreover, I can't afford to get sick too frequently, because I still need to take care of the people I love. It's harder for me right now, as they are the ones caring for me.
I wanted to sleep in bed all day and just leave the outside world in oblivion for a while. But at the same time, I felt the need, or this unreasoned desire to still accomplish something within this limited time. I can't counter when you said my life looks carefree, and in fact I tried to make it so, but there are always something you just can't let go of.
It's nostalgiac to recall those days, when I was sick and grandma was staying by my side, telling me about heaven and earth, good and evil, past and future. I hardly understood any of them at the time; it's just she seemed really happy saying all those weird things, her eyes sparkling with delight, and somehow, it telepathically delivered to me, so I did feel a little bit better. Shame on me that I still can't quite comprehend some of what she said, but I know one thing for certain, and that is she was making a wish, wishing that one day I would grow up and realize those unrealistic expectations. You can dream no matter how old you are.
I'm sorry I wasn't born a prince, and I'm never going to influence the world in the way you want me to. But when the day comes I bring my princess home, will you still be proud of me?

You're just too damn right.
When we get on with our lives and leave the dear ones behind, it's really for the good of both of us. You'll drag me behind, and I'm not really pulling you out of the water either.
And so it confirms my departure, because I only got a hundred years to live, and can't afford my precious time with you while doing nothing constructive. I really think so now. How could it take me so long to arrive at this almost no-brainer. I already knew in this current state I'm not yet mature and still need much growing to do; if I stay here any longer, it will only delay the completion of the process.
If my leave means anything, then let's just leave it at that. For we can spend plenty of time in retrospect once I come back; although I doubt if I do ever come back, we'll be still the same as we are today. A better man means a different man, and I'm not certain I'll look at it the way I look at it now.
And here I disconnect any other thoughts than getting back in full swing. It's definitely pleasing to have you for the past year, and now I will open myself up to welcome the next chapter of my life.

Today I learned that some differential equations have one and only solution.
Some might be not solvable in the first place.
If my life were one big equation, how I wish I could arrive at my solution soon.
School is over, and suddenly it seems I have much less I need to do. People say comfort generates laziness, but in my case, while getting more and more lazy, I don't seem to gain much comfort either. I believe the equation in my life is always balanced, so what is it missing on the other side?
I know what I should do, but "should" can hardly convince myself. When I finally made up my mind to go to church yesterday, even I was surprised by the fact I was listening to my reasoning for once. Getting used to not doing what I should do becomes a habit, and more often than not, it would end up being more logical not doing something useful, rather than doing it at all.
But I guess I was only fooling myself. They say no matter who you are, be you the biggest villain or whatever, there is a good side inside of your conscience. I'm starting to dig out this hidden treasure, and it has already made changes inside of me. Thanks to you, now it feels like I'm a different person.
The road is still long, and my word of promise might just be a leaf floating on the ocean. It's going to sink one day, but I'm just hoping, before that happens, I arrive at that promised land. The trek doesn't look really auspicious, but if there's only one ship leaving the port, I only have one choice and that is to embark on it.
Everyone knows I'm forgetful, and if I ever forget what I said before, please forgive my fading memory. You understand when you leave an inn on your road, it's only natural to lose a couple of things behind, like a comb, a soap, or your wedding ring.
I said I would come back to where I began, but that might just be an unintentional lie, because I might not be able to come back at all. It doesn't mean that I'm not dreaming about the mellow moon, the mysterious nightsky and the sweet breeze back home; it's just sometimes, I have to give in to the circumstances than my own free will. It's never easy to travel alone.
I will stop speaking of you, because I really need to give myself a little attention. This time, I think I'll be a little bit selfish, and I can excuse myself for doing that. I said I'd be fine living on my own, and if it is the only path, I am willing to kill of any remaining irrelevance, and disregard what's behind my back.
But no worries. I thought my heart could be as cold as a stone, and I tried to make it so, but I'm too nice of a person to actually do it to the people I love. Thus, I'll continue to love you in the way I always do, because without it I wouldn't be myself. But it will not deter my decision to depart, for a rover is who I am, and that consists of the meaning of my life.
And one more thing, all hail to Jehovah, as now he's the only link between you and me.

Insolate this.
I'm heading another direction, and here is the end for the two of us.
I'm glad I finally revealed what I couldn't say all along; and I know this kills any suspence left. I don't regret it though; if God wills this, then I will just accept it.
Thanks for all the fond memories, but now I'm moving on.
Adios.

Sudoku is an excellent game, but I'm just too tired to play it right now.
So instead, I came here, to relax my half-dead brain, and spill out the unnecessary emotions.
Because it's not needed, certainly not by you, and not me either.
I am impressed by your faith, even though it is in something airy. You make sweet wishes because your heart is filled with honey, and you care less if they come true. If they don't, you can still live like the way you live now. That's impressive, because it's something I'm afraid of doing.
Not long ago, just like you, I had woven a cocoon made of all the joy in my life. It was so close to reality that I lost myself to it, ignoring everything outside. I locked myself in and lived off my belief. Too bad eventually someone broke in, draggin me out of this self-made utopia, and possibly, saving me from being smothered to death.
And now I'm scared to dream again, because I can make dreams look so realistic and never get out of it. I stuck my feet on the soil of reality and withstand the blowing of the fairytale wind. It feels like a long march, and it's filled with both fun and pain, surprise and expectation, love and despair. After I was forced to realize world is not perfect, the journey brought me the sense of being alive.
I admire you, because you remind me of my old self and those sweet, or rather bitter days. You can dream of a perfect world in sleep, but dreams themselves are not perfect: once you wake up, all the candies and fairies go away, and you are left alone with nothing but emptiness. I don't know what I should tell you, because entering the realm of being awake can be frightening. Maybe I should just leave you alone, as a sleeping beauty, never to be awakened by those gentlemen-looking, but vacuous princes.
As I get on with my life, I wish you another, if not the last, sweet dream.

What I know is that eventually, a crossroad will be waiting there for me. What I don't know is it seems I'm already there now.
I used to play computer games and in all those rpg ones, mazes are unavoidable. I have to figure out ways to get out of it, or otherwise I get stuck in it forever. When you come across a choice, you don't know where it leads to, and if it's the right direction. You won't realize you're at a dead end unless you reach there. Sometimes when you jump up to look across, the exit is only one wall away. But don't be too delighted yet, because you may as well be at the farthest point away. You can drill a hole in the wall to make a shortcut, but that breaks the rules.
It would be nice to be able to drill through the wall though. But in the maze of life, you can't do so unless you travel back in time. If you're not smart enough to manage such a feat, which I certainly can't, it's better to look for alternatives, even if it means going back to the origin and starting over.
As I am about to leave you behind, the choice is already made and we both know it. If you can take it as nothing more than a daily occurence, then so will I. I can't, and I'm not going to forget this story between us, because I don't make decisions by a whim of mind. If we have to cut off the storyline, then that's what I'll do. Remember my promise? I won't give up creating miracles, but only if you still possess the will to continue. If my purpose is taken away, then I'll write my future from scratch again, only with a different person this time, or possibly, me alone.
It feels awkward to be in an ambiguous situation like this, and I will clear any suspence very soon. I don't reject the probability of parallel universes, but they will come to one end down the road. When the moment of truth arrives, let us pray God will grant his grace to us still, as his love remains eternal and ever inspiring.

I can't deny the fact that it sounds absurd, because sometimes it doesn't make sense even to me.
I won't go as far to defend my belief, because a belief isn't a perfect concept.
But somehow, I know it's going to be that way, and my faith hasn't dimished a bit all this time.

I understand how you feel when disappointment hits you right on. It seems every kind of imaginable trouble begins to lay a siege on you, one by one, and the road gets just worse. You want to escape, by wishing you could go back to being a child, by doing something else to distract you from all this mess, or by simply wanting to leave this world. Everybody feels it sometimes. But as long as you don't give in, as you still hold firm to what's most precious in your heart, dark cloud will be cleared, vicious gust will cease, and troubles will leave you in peace. I'm sorry I don't have the power to deliver the joy to your side, but in God's name we pray, as his fatherly love embraces us all.

In the land of magic,
I am the only one ordinary.
At the table of fabulous,
I am the only one anonymous.

And I'm just fine with being the incongruous.

Being different invites misunderstanding, conflict, and hatred. I've been through all that. But if the difference is beneficial, it will eventually show because the inferior will get eliminated. Í know I'm peculiar, and you can all despise me for that. But one thing you should know, I'm better at remaining alive, and that's what makes me the superior species. You're welcome to throw everything at me, but just so you know, there is a wall between us, and nothing can break it through.

I don't believe eternity, and am aware of my own end. I'm just trying to make this life worth the effort. Living is hard, and living well is almost impossible. I'm not born into some royal families, and even worse, I am different from the ordinary. therefore, I am destined to wander this earth alone till my last breath.

There have been all kinds of people I encountered. Some of them were pure malicious, and I would shun away from them as much as possible. Others could ignore my difference, and somehow in me, a desire to stay close to them was harboured. But I had to remind myself all the time, because when the good time is over, nothing would be left except a painful memory.

And here I see you again. I know you're not an enemy, and that's what makes things even worse. You never attack me, yet you leave me with scars deeper than from any battles. You depart with a smile, yet take away my hope and the reason I keep fighting.

I can't keep this up anymore. This is why I ask myself to erase everything about you until the pain is subdued, and force myself back into this reality. You are as beautiful as a sweet dream, but dreams are killed once I wake up. Thank you for hardening my heart once again, and next time we meet, I will not remember who you are.

When the tide is low, come visit me.
When the sea gets hideous, find a haven.
When you are having a hard time, entrust your concerns here,
because I'm not going down before you can fight for yourself.

It's our little promise, something we made to each other long ago.
I am to protect, and you are to be protected.
Cause and effect, giving and receiving, in and out.
And just like that, the parity is conserved.

But one day I'll be gone, and you'll be left alone.
Will you still be able to smile like you're doing now?
When I'm no longer there to steer the boat in the storm,
will you still remain calm like you always do?

You always ask tons of questions,
and I can give an answer to each of them.
But when your curiosity exceeds my wits,
who will be there to dispel your doubt?

I have been a knight since I was born,
and you are the lord I made my pledge to.
I never ask for anything in return,
because your presence alone keeps my faith alive.

I am proud that I never lost a duel,
and kept your honor unblemished.
But one day when I get old and defeated,
will I be forsaken and forgotten?

But even so, I have no regrets,
since I cannot manipulate my own end.
I always prepare for the worst outcome,
and hope for the best result.

When you are in danger if I'm not there,
please don't panic or fear.
For I will become a guardian spirit,
forever watching over you in my afterlife.

Este Invierno
This winter is a little bit colder than usual.
Or so it seems.
What's more unusual is that I actually got to see snow before Christmas. It wasn't November yet when the first snow came off from the sky. I mean, getting lots of precipitation is common in where I live, but when the rain drop turns into snowflake, it becomes quite peculiar, as if the season suddenly puts on a mask, giving a different stage play.
And it freaks people out. School is closed, traffic is in chaos, and I am forced to stay in. The bone-rattling wind paralyzes the nerve connecting the inner and outer world. And I am left, to my own device, into a state of meditation.
We all know seasons alternate. Winter follows the summer, and spring comes after winter. From the chills of air, people endure, then begin to imagine the future, the good times to come in the spring. I guess this applies to us all: when the hardship becomes too great or too painful, we seek something consoling, whether it physically exists or is merely born from a wish. Self-disciplined fellows call this self-escape, but it's actually difficult to live on without doing so. When there is no one around, when everything turns its back on you, when you are deserted by all, you can't stop the invasion of despair. It becomes something intangible, sinking into your skin little by little, and in the end, occupying your entire consciousness. If there is no internal motivation to fend it off, then there is really no escape. People are born with the ability to dream, and in dreams we create a separate reality. It's perhaps truthful to disregard the dreams most of the time, but we do receive something value when our mind isn't being manipulated by the outside world. For example, we perceive something palpable in dreams, whereas in reality it may be only an abstract concept. We see what's there instead of what we think it is. In other words, dreams allow no lies.
But a dream dies when we wake up. There has been so many mornings I open my eyes with a cloggy mind, still having one foot in the dreamy realm. But after a while, the dream dissipates into nothingness, and reality gushes in. There's not a second entrance back to the dream last night. Sometimes I try to continue where I've been left off, but soon it feels foolish to weave a lie that can't even convince myself. In dreams you can be in a life-threatening situation, or even have yourself decapitated, but your consciousness forbids such a possibility. When you direct a play, there can be no surprise.
In this cold, I feel I'm even farther away from what I'm seeking. The ice makes the road slippery, and even a small step requires careful balance. I need to reserve 10 more minutes than usual to make it to the bus, and 20 more to get to work in time. But towards you, I don't know how much I must start ahead, since I never did reach you even once.
It's interesting how things are related to each other. Sometimes it goes against the intuition too, like how you try to distance two things, but they get attracted to each other in some other ways. Also, some things are only connected one-way; this might be moving to that, but that might be moving to something over there. These motions don't reciprocate, which makes the big picture more interesting.
I know right now, you're looking through the frozen window, thinking about him far away, and can't stop feeling out of place and left alone. And I understand that, because I feel the same way. Everyone has dreams, and some of them simply cannot be fulfilled. To me, you are one of those fairy tales. But it's fine if I don't ever reach there, because fairy tales are not permitted to exist in this reality. Remember what I said about perfection? It's just another name of emptiness, but it does entice us to climb higher and purify ourselves along the way. Your presence reminds me of the fact that I still have a lot of growing up to do, and I'm simply not at the same level as you. But it's all right, that alone is a good reason that it's nice to have you here, and I thank God for making it happen.
Tonight, I am sitting beside a fireplace, staring at the dim road light outside, and thinking about you and me. Really there's nothing to think about, but that's what makes thinking interesting despite its uselessness. Maybe you are doing the same thing, maybe you are also thinking about the blossom of flowers in a couple of months, maybe you are also making a blueprint of the happiness ahead. I suddenly feels an urge to look back, all those moments of sour and sweet, like opening a wrinkled chronicle dyed with the color of age. Once I said to myself, there were disastrous decisions in the past, and I regret it very much. But if I'm given a chance to relive those times, I would make the same decision. I had a reason when I chose my path, and that's all I need to prevent myself from falling into an abyss of self-deprecation. That's why I never felt sorry to have known you, because you meant, and still mean a lot to me.
I hate it to say "see you tomorrow", because I want to be with you right here, right now. But all that aside, let us pray to God for giving us this moment, in silence, to think about what we did and what we will do.

It's really annoying to have this snow, at least sometimes.
It's too cold to open the window, but if it's shut, breathing gets harder.

It is just so real.

I am forever at a crossroad. There are paths I need to choose, even if I don't know where they will lead me to. Eventually there will be a dead end, inescapable, waiting quietly under my feet. Along my way, there might be omens that warns me to step away from it, and I'll choose a different route to keep myself alive a bit longer. But there might as well be no such signals at all. The end comes abrupt, taking away my being as a whole.

I am a passenger, an actor in this stage called life. When my chapter is done, next generation will take my place. Whether I remain in people's memory, that's not up to me.

Left and right may never reconciliate, up and down can never unify, and does that mean you and I will never stand together?
We are polar opposite, yet just like the two ends of a magnet, we are attracted to each other. When I am here and you are there, I cannot help but wanting to wade through the water and hold your hand. But when two pieces of magnet becomes one, we become neutral again, and the attraction disappears into the ether.

Yes. One day, all of a sudden, we'll lose it, as if it has never existed in the first place. Walking by you in the streets, I won't throw my head around and stare at your back. Something may tickle my memory, but you are just another passenger, and our past is locked in that distant castle.

In the end, we'll enter another realm, and there we can relive the past, like watching a personal movie. There maybe exclamation marks here and there, and you perhaps will recall my name, but we can't direct this movie. What is done, is done, it's no use trying to rewrite the history.

Go to bed, because tomorrow I'll move on. I don't know where I'll end up at, but as long as I stay alive, in this falsified reality, I will defend only myself. It is fine to fight on without a purpose, because fighting itself is a valid one. Don't mind me picking the thorns along the stem, since I never intend to see the rose in the first place.

It's not who's the best; it's who's better at it.
No one can execute a perfect plan, that's why a perfect plan can't be created in the first place.
I don't know what to do about this, but I know sooner or later a solution will come up to me, because time has to move on.
Except God, everything in this world is relative, and that's why life cannot exist without death, peace cannot be craved without war, and love cannot be born without hate.
But maybe there is one more, just one.
Because no matter what happens, I just want to hold on to you.
When I'm with you, I don't know if it's love, because I don't know what to hate;
when I'm with you, I don't know if I'm at peace, because I can't remember how to fight;
when I'm with you, I don't know if I'm still alive, because death has lost its meaning to me.
Once I made a wish: I would like to pass away in your embrace, and in my next incarnation, let me be born into your arms.

But I know, all it means is nothing but a distant utopia.
I have to move on, because I was born to journey;
I have to forget, because the world still needs war to remind me of peace;
I have to die, because no one lives forever.
And, I have to remember that you're nothing more than a symbol of perfection.
A holy land never to be reached by mortals.
A shooting star leaving only an eye-pricking flash.
A wound only to be healed by death.

I'm sorry I've been weak,
I regret it I'm still young,
I am disappointed I can't reach out to you,
and I hate myself for everything I can't do.
I swear to myself that I'll come back,
and I'll be a different person when I return,
but when that happens,
you'll still be you, but someone I can no longer recognize.

Some say a journeyer never stops,
whether it's a nice view, a comfy inn, an unexpected reward, or a beautiful person.
He walks on, towards only the ultimate truth, the absolute treasure, the pristine neverland.
And when he treads upon it, he will die in content.

This must be my fate,
and I'm here to accept it.
I'm glad I spot you today,
but tomorrow I'll leave it to a chamber in my heart, never to be opened again.

Next morning, when I wake up from my eternal dream of this life,
let's meet again in that boundless grassfield connected to the horizon,
in that verdant forest bathed in the sunshine,
in that flowing brook only known to the two of us.