Today I learned that some differential equations have one and only solution.
Some might be not solvable in the first place.
If my life were one big equation, how I wish I could arrive at my solution soon.
School is over, and suddenly it seems I have much less I need to do. People say comfort generates laziness, but in my case, while getting more and more lazy, I don't seem to gain much comfort either. I believe the equation in my life is always balanced, so what is it missing on the other side?
I know what I should do, but "should" can hardly convince myself. When I finally made up my mind to go to church yesterday, even I was surprised by the fact I was listening to my reasoning for once. Getting used to not doing what I should do becomes a habit, and more often than not, it would end up being more logical not doing something useful, rather than doing it at all.
But I guess I was only fooling myself. They say no matter who you are, be you the biggest villain or whatever, there is a good side inside of your conscience. I'm starting to dig out this hidden treasure, and it has already made changes inside of me. Thanks to you, now it feels like I'm a different person.
The road is still long, and my word of promise might just be a leaf floating on the ocean. It's going to sink one day, but I'm just hoping, before that happens, I arrive at that promised land. The trek doesn't look really auspicious, but if there's only one ship leaving the port, I only have one choice and that is to embark on it.
Everyone knows I'm forgetful, and if I ever forget what I said before, please forgive my fading memory. You understand when you leave an inn on your road, it's only natural to lose a couple of things behind, like a comb, a soap, or your wedding ring.
I said I would come back to where I began, but that might just be an unintentional lie, because I might not be able to come back at all. It doesn't mean that I'm not dreaming about the mellow moon, the mysterious nightsky and the sweet breeze back home; it's just sometimes, I have to give in to the circumstances than my own free will. It's never easy to travel alone.
I will stop speaking of you, because I really need to give myself a little attention. This time, I think I'll be a little bit selfish, and I can excuse myself for doing that. I said I'd be fine living on my own, and if it is the only path, I am willing to kill of any remaining irrelevance, and disregard what's behind my back.
But no worries. I thought my heart could be as cold as a stone, and I tried to make it so, but I'm too nice of a person to actually do it to the people I love. Thus, I'll continue to love you in the way I always do, because without it I wouldn't be myself. But it will not deter my decision to depart, for a rover is who I am, and that consists of the meaning of my life.
And one more thing, all hail to Jehovah, as now he's the only link between you and me.