Ben Stiller apparently enjoys his night stay at the museum. And also quite apparently, I don't find my time past dinner very exciting.
That's why I need a change, why I have to get out of this city and leave everything behind. Because I'm not good at adapting to this anymore, because I hate myself wasting my limited time on unlimited useless thoughts and things, because I have no other choice.
I was playing games on my computer, but all of them have lost their attraction to me. I was watching TV, but the liveliness from a electrical box makes me feel like I'm a dead man walking. I was thinking about you, and albeit the sporadical spurt of happiness, more often I get besieged by worries, insecurity, and, worst of all, a sense of powerlessness.
You know I like being funny, but this is nothing to laugh about. I need a different format of life. I need to be busy from dawn to dusk, but I don't want to be busy watching the self-repeating news or playing the inane video games. I need to make plans, but I don't want to plan something I have no way of completing. I need to get a deep breath, but I don't want to inhale any more of this smelly air. I need movies in my life, but instead of watching it, I want to play a role and change the course of the story.
I can't deny the fact that I'm running away, escaping this whole reality of this city and retreating to my worthless ivory tower. But watch me, for I'll come back, and bring the most beautiful flower to honour no one but you, my greatest Lord, and my sweetest angel.