lonely prayer for the loveliest

After such a long time, this place starts to feel a bit unfamiliar now. I've been lazy havn't I.
Even at this hour, I can't think of much to say, even though so much is racing through my mind right now. It's like the mixed emotions in the afternoon, there's so much going on I could barely hold it in, but can't sort it out in words. So all I did was just holding you in me tight, wordlessly, yet unwilling to let go.
I guess I was stupid. There are a thousand things I could have done to make you happier, yet I did none of them. After selfishly thinking of only myself for 18 days, I finally woke up to find there wasn't much time left to give you a time to remember. I don't understand why or how I could do one of the person i care the most, yet I did it myself. The one I love the most.
I don't have much time now, because there are things to finish tomorrow. I can only say that the next time seeing you, I'll hold you and tell you how much I love you. I'll do everything to show I love you. I'll right all the wrongs and leave nothing but times to cherish.
I had thought I treasured you. Only when you are leaving, I found out I didn't do enough of that. When you're not by my side, when I'm looking into the dark night alone, your absence leaves my emotions in pieces. The room, once filled with your flavor, suddenly becomes devoid of your scent. After taking a nap, I customarily reached out, only to find you were not there anymore. I asked myself again and again why I couldn't be with you all the time, and the only answer I got, is this is still a test to be completed. I can see when this is going to end, but how I still need enough patience to get there. And I will get there, together with you.
Let me say nothing more, because it's not an option for me to have a breakdown, at least not in the library. But all the best, and let my thoughts accompany all the way, all the time, even though it's just a short separation, even though the good days are still to come. I have made my decision, and it's nothing but a wonder to have you in my life. Thank you baby, I will continue to love you with all I have.