Another Midnight

I guess this is the life I have to live after all. Not until it's pitch dark outside, I can't sit down and do some serious thought gathering.
Out in the living room, a bottle of alcohol lies on the table, the smell of the liquor slips into the room, along with noises, distant and irrelevant. This is a world of nothing but solitude.
And I hate walking in the dark. Lord tells me if I follow him closely, then I won't be afraid to walk through "the valley of death," but the direction seems a bit difficult to grasp. It must be that I need to do a whole lot more, to keep up with what it takes to be faithful.
Every night before sleeping, I think of the plans for the next day. Almost every day after that, some of the plan, or maybe all of it, will not come true. The cycle continues, and although plans are still being made, I'm losing heart in the reason of planning itself.
But there's always consolation. There is light, shining through the cluster of surrounding blackness, to tell me that the destination still remains the same. It guides me to where the place is full of brightness. And it stings my senses, to warn me that I'm still walking in dark. I made a promise to get there one day, and that alone gives me something to long for. And I guess for this reason, i can accept whatever that lies ahead of me, without feeling the slightest trace of regret for myself. If I can bring one more person to light, then it's worth all the time and efforts, even if there will be hopelessness, irreconciliation, and moments of despair. As long as I don't forget why I'm doing this, my body and soul will be at peace.
There must be a better way to live, and I won't stop looking until I find it. There must be something I can do to make everything easier for us, and I won't give up unless we're completely happy with ourselves. It'll probably take a lifetime, and I don't mind trying hard for that long. If I can have one selfish request before the Lord, that would be He give you the best life you can ever have. And without doubt, I know He is already proving his words to us. When night turns into day, when darkness is turned into bright sunlight, I'll wait for you to come, so that I can fulfill every promise that we have made.