It's still cold, just like any other winter day. I guess it's going to be like this for a while.
Waking up early isn't someting very pleasant, but at least there is a purpose. Whenever I go to Lord's house, I need to be punctual, and that's more important than anything. I want to be instructed by His voice, so that I don't get lost in this wilderness.
Start to miss you a bit, maybe because I know we can't speak for a while. It's like a natural instinct: when something is taken away, almost anything, you sort of want it back. But then rationalization kicks in, and everything becomes clear and completely acceptable. After all, this is better than not being able to talk for a month, or forever. Now I look back, when something occurs too frequently, I get used to it so much that I lose the sense of it and the desire to keep up. Maybe I overdid it. I think when I start to repeat myself, it's because I have nothing left to say. It's like my defensive mechanism working to drag on the conversation. There are things in my mind, but I'm not telling anyone. Some thoughts are not meant to be shared, at least for now. So all that is left is just daily greetings and asking if there's something wrong. From my side, I am just living my days in the usual way, and that will remain the same for pretty much the rest of it. As I open my mouth and nothing comes out, I am getting weary of my sudden loss of speech; when both ends of the telephone has gone mute, I cannot help myself feeling bad. I lost my sense of direction, and if happens to you too, then there's no point in continuing on.
So let us learn to appreciate this unspoken silence for a while. Collect our stories in a small box, and pour it out all at once after some time. That way, we can surely make our conversation more interesting next time. I believe it is the best for both of us, and thank you for suggesting it.
And one last thing, your name will be in my prayer everyday, and that is one thing I will not forget. May Lord convey it to you, so that you feel peaceful and being loved as you go through those lonely nights. Bless you.